February Journal

Jon is feeling better today, which is great considering our Instructor Exam starts at 5:00 tonight. He spent the day studying, since he didn't feel up to it yesterday. And I went out and ran some errands because I'm tired of studying and have convinced myself that studying at the last minute does very little for me.

We picked up David and Tom around 4:00ish and went to "Hungry Jacks" for dinner before heading to the Palm Royale, where the exam took place. David was so excited to eat at HJ's because it's too far away for him to go on foot, and - he said in his brogue accent - "McDonald's is evil".

At the Palm Royale, about 40 of us took our seats in the conference room and listened to Mike Holmes during the hour-long intro. Mike is a PADI Instructor Examiner from Sydney. There were also two other examiners in the room who would be with us for the rest of the weekend. The back of the room was filled with the Course Directors from the various PADI schools in Cairns, including Vic and Chookie. It was nice to have them there, although they had to leave once the exams started. Vic and Chookie told us that - after 5:00 today - we can't ask them any more questions. They probably feel a bit like mother hens, sending their chicks out into the real world.

All in all, everything was very relaxed. Jim and the other examiners did everything they could to alleviate any nervousness or trepidation we had by pointing out that we had done all this before. This aligns with what Vic and Chookie told us, which was that - compared to their harsh grading - we would find the IE a breeze. Come Sunday, we'll hopefully agree with them.

We were assigned our skills and presentation topics for the next few days. Here goes:

I was pretty happy with my assignments, as none of them are particularly terrible. Tom, unfortunately, was assigned the Hover and the CESA, which are two of the hardest skills you can get. Jon, on the other hand, basically has to demonstrate "Underwater Basket Weaving" for the next two days. The schmuck got off SO EASY!

We took the Theory Exams first, which was 5 sections of 12 questions each - Physics, Physiology, Skills and Environment, Equipment, and the Recreational Dive Planner. We had to score 75% on each question, which means we could get no more than 3 questions wrong on each. No worries. I was done in a half-hour and, since we had an hour and a half to take the exam, decided to go back through and do the exam again. Then I took it up to have it graded. Jon and I both passed with no problems. In fact, so did everyone from DSDD.

Then we took the Standards Exam. This was also an hour and a half and was open book. The questions focused mainly on administrative protocol in addition to various standards about specific teaching situations. Thank God it was open-book, because we never would have been able to remember these things.

At 9:30, it was raining cats and dogs. We piled Dave, Tom, and UK Jon into the truck and drove each one home. Then we went home and did our homework for tomorrow: a Knowledge Development classroom presentation and a Confined Water presentation. Our Open Water Sessions will be on Sunday. We finished up around 11:30 and went to bed.

Since today was a pretty dull day for the journal, here's something humorous for you. Matt, one of our Crazy Aussie friends whom we met in Africa, emailed the following article. It had us rolling on the floor, so I figured it was worth a journal page. The humor is very typical Australian humor - we love it!

From http://www.satirewire.com/news/jan02/australia.shtml

AUSTRALIA GETS DRUNK, WAKES UP IN NORTH ATLANTIC
Tired of Being Isolated and Ignored, Continent Isn't Bloody Moving

Sydney, 800 miles S. of Nova Scotia (SatireWire.com) — After what witnesses described as an all night blinder during which it kept droning on about how it was always being bloody ignored by the whole bloody world and would bloody well stand to do something about it, Australia this morning woke up to find itself in the middle of the North Atlantic.

"Good Lord, that was a booze up," said a bleary-eyed Australian Prime Minister, John Howard, speaking from his residence at Kirribilli House, approximately 600 nautical miles east of Cape Hatteras, North Carolina.

According to Australians and residents of several countries destroyed or lewdly insulted during the continent's nearly 7,000-mile saltwater stagger, the binge began just after noon yesterday at a pub in Brisbane, where several patrons were discussing Australia Day (Jan. 26) and the nation's general lack of respect from abroad.

"It started off same as always; coupla fossils saying how our Banjo Patterson was a better poet than Walt Whitman, how Con the Fruiterer is funnier than Seinfeld, only they're Aussies so no one knows about 'em," recalled witness Kevin Porter. "Then this bloke Martin pipes up and says Australia's main problem is that it's stuck in Australia, and everybody says 'Too right!'"

"Well, it made sense at the time," Porter added.

By 2 a.m., powered by national pride and alcohol, the 3-million-square-mile land mass was barging eastward through the Coral Sea and crossing into the central Pacific, leaving a trail of beer cans and Chinese take-away in its wake.

When dawn broke over the Northern Hemisphere, the continent suddenly found itself, not only upside down, but smack in the middle of the Atlantic, and according to most of its 19 million inhabitants, that's the way it's going to stay.

"We sent troops to Afghanistan. You never hear about it. We have huge government scandals. You never hear about it. It's all 'America did this,' and 'Europe says that,'" exclaimed Perth resident Paul Watson. "Well, we're right in the thick of things now, so let's just see if you can you ignore us."

Officials on both sides of the Atlantic conceded that would be difficult. "They broke Florida," said U.S. State Department spokesman Richard Boucher. "And most of Latin America is missing."

Meanwhile, victims of what's already been dubbed the "Australian Crawl" are still shaking off the event.

"Australia bumped into us at about midnight local time," said Hawaii governor Ben Cayetano. "They were very friendly — they always seem friendly — but they refused to go around unless we answered their questions. But the questions were impossible. 'Who is Ian Thorpe? Do you have any Tim Tams? What day is Australia Day?'"

"Fortunately, somebody here had an Unimportant World Dates calendar and we aced the last one," Cayetano added.

Panama, however, was not so lucky.

"Australia came through here screaming curses at us to let them through," said Ernesto Carnal, who guards the locks at the entrance to the Panama Canal. "We said they would not fit, so they demanded to speak with a manager. When I go to find Mr. Caballos, they sneak the whole continent through."

When Caballos shouted to the fleeing country that it had not paid, Australia "accidentally" backed up and took out every nation in the region, as well as the northern third of Venezuela. They then made up a cheery song about it.

By late morning today, however, not everyone in Australia was quite so blithe. "We've still got part of Jamaica stuck to Queensland," said Australian army commander Lt. Gen. Peter Cosgrove. "I think we might have declared war on it. I don't bloody remember. Maybe it's time to go home."

Cosgrove, however, is not in the majority, and at press time, U.S., African, and European leaders were still desperately trying to negotiate for Australia's withdrawal. But the independent-minded Aussies were not making it easy. In a two-hour meeting at midday, Australian representatives listed their demands: immediate inclusion in the North Atlantic Treaty Organization, a permanent CNN presence in all 6 Australian states, a worldwide ban on hiring Paul Hogan, a primetime U.S. television contract for Australian Rules Football, and a 4,500-mile-long bridge between Sydney and Los Angeles.

U.S. negotiators immediately walked out, calling the Australian Rules Football request "absurd."

	Jon	Heidi
Classroom Presentation	"Safety Stop" - Advanced	"Circle of Care" - Rescue Diver
Confined Water Presentation	Regulator Recovery	Scuba Unit Remove and Replace
Open Water Skill #1	Partially Flood Mask	Fin Pivot - Low Pressure Inflator
Open Water Skill #2	Hover	Buddy Breathing - Stationary